Why?

I am having a day where I need to vent, I want to be positive but I feel so frustrated today.  My class is hard and there are sooooo many of them.   I feel as if it is one blow after another.

I decided a couple of weeks ago that I would try to see my class like God would see them as little innocent children with sweet spirits and try only to find the positive in each.  I have really been trying to do that, and even when it is hard I try.

Yesterday an announcement was given across the intercom saying it was going to be an inside day.  Well, I saw red I had spent the morning with one of my challenges trying to climb a tall cabinet, jumping on and off his desk, poking and irritating others and I just new a recess with him was not going to be better.

I had asked the resolutions person to help on the advice of another teacher.  Then when this other teacher saw I was upset she told me to go talk to her again.  Then we had a meeting and when it was brought up I asked the principal to do something and he snarkely said, "I can do something but you won't like it.  I mentioned that anything was okay at this point.  Then this morning the same teacher informed me that I was out of line.

What,!!?  I feel that I don't say much even when I am very frustrated and this one time I was out of line.  Let me just say FINE.  You can bet I will nEVER say anything else in any meeting.  I will suffer through this year and will not say a word to anyone.  I don't want to fail to help any child in my class, but I feel so alone and helpless nothing I try works for my toughest kids.  I have 28 and I can't help them all as much as they need and I am always trying to keep violence to a minimum and still maintain an orderly learning classroom.

I guess it is lucky I have this blog.  I can express my feelings without fear of reprisal and that is what I will do.

It is hard to feel so helpless and alone.